I don’t think there are any Chick-fil-A restaurants in Las Vegas. However, in August 2010, a Chick-fil-A corporate motivational speaker, Gerry Wienholt, was the keynote speaker at the Clark County School District administrators’ annual kick-off meeting. In this age of the corporate education-reform movement, someone, somewhere, apparently thought our school administrators should be more like those highly successful Chick-fil-A guys, who seem determined to conquer the world with a chicken sandwich. And, as we now know, with a philosophy that supports discrimination against gay Americans.
Though I have never tasted its popular sandwich, I used to enjoy the company’s humor with its depiction of a cow telling the world to “Eat mor chiken.” Simple. Genius. Hilarious.
Well, I’ve been told that Wienhold, the company’s motivation guy, was neither smart nor funny when he spoke here. In fact, according to audience members at the scene two years ago, his speech was way too long (two hours) and humorlessly mind-numbing. So much so that local administrators (not unlike students they so often criticize) were texting each other throughout his entire presentation.
“He was so boring, so out of left field, we didn’t know what he was talking about,” a source has said.
Reportedly, during the speech one administrator sent a text message around the room asking colleagues if anyone had a gun.
“Why, is someone gonna shoot the speaker?” asked another administrator in reply.
“No, I wanna shoot myself,” the first administrator responded.
Wow. In the 23 years I’ve been teaching here, I’ve never heard of a way to get rid of bad administrators. Usually, truly incompetent principals are rewarded with promotions or transferred to other schools where they continue their insanity. Maybe now, though, there is hope for battered and abused teachers. Just give bad administrators guns, then call a Chick-fil-A guy to lecture them a while.
That said, I’m happy to report that most school administrators are incredibly intelligent, dedicated individuals, who believe as much in public education as I do. And as such, they’re smart enough to play the political game without falling for all the crap of the reform movement. Which effectively means our kids are in really good hands.
And what is the philosophy of the corporate-based education reform movement that good principals and teachers must deal with daily? Eat mor bullsh*t.
Which brings us back to Chick-fil-A. Recently its president, Dan Cathy, publicly declared his Atlanta-based company’s anti-gay-marriage stance. And to support him, on August 1, thousands of self-professed Christians flocked to his restaurants for, reportedly, a record-setting day of business.
Maybe the cows in those commercials should now be saying: “Pwomote mor hate.”
Coincidentally, as recently as 1967, as many as 16 Southern states (Chick-fil-A country) actively enforced Bible-based laws forbidding marriage between whites and nonwhites. But the Supreme Court took care of all that, in a case ironically called Loving v. Virginia, 1967, by striking down discriminatory anti-miscegenation laws.
But the heck with that stuff. I’m from Las Vegas. And business has been bad here — down 6 percent, according to recent reports. Perhaps those guys from Chick-fil-A are onto something by seemingly promoting hate. Maybe our city should create billboards with cows saying, “Kill mor qweers.” Then let’s line I-15, all the way to L.A., with crucified gay people.
Back in the day, lining roads with crucified Christians used to be good business for the Roman Empire. Maybe it can work for us today, here, with homosexuals.
Vegas could become the Mecca of heterosexual pride throughout the world. What’d’ya think?
CHIP MOSHER believes in equal rights for all his students