A FUTURE CHRONOLOGY OF TONY HSIEH CAMEOS
Tony Hsieh’s role as “narrator of Lincoln Portrait” during a Nov. 17 performance by the Las Vegas Philharmonic at the Smith Center turns out to be just the first of many unexpected appearances by the Zappos boss:
Feb. 20, 2013: Audiences at this evening’s performance of Zumanity are awestruck to see the visionary billionaire twirling overhead in the demanding and sexy “aerial silks” act, and even more awestruck to learn that he totally has the legs to pull it off.
Oct. 13, 2013: At the Hard Rock Hotel, fans celebrating a surprise reunion of the 2000-2004 Guns N Roses lineup are shocked when guitarist Buckethead whips the KFC container from his head and is revealed to be the city-shaping venture capitalist. Turns “Paradise City” into a rockin’ anthem about urban infill development.
Jan. 26, 2014: The side judge on the referee squad for the 2014 Lingerie Bowl, at Sam Boyd Stadium, sure looks like a man who might’ve funded a downtown project or two! Even more impressive: He knows the proper hand signal for “blocking below the garters.”
Aug. 2, 2014: In an episode of Pawn Stars, Hsieh attempts to sell a chafing dish his grandmother said she got from Francisco Franco; when he’s offered a measly $50, the innovative genius buys Gold & Silver Pawn, organizes the staff into a caring, creative community, and is promptly offered $124 instead.
March 19, 2015: Saying he is responding to noise complaints, a cop arrives at the bachelorette party of Ms. Annie Zepp — only to yank off his uniform and start dancing in a thong while handing out signed copies of Delivering Happiness. His identity is never confirmed. SCOTT DICKENSHEETS
AND A SIDE OF MATRIMONY
The ubiquitous chain diner Denny’s is not the most obvious destination for matters of the heart — unless the matter involves clogging it with fat and cholesterol. But the new Denny’s that’s currently under construction in Neonopolis will offer wedding services alongside all the Grand Slams and Moons Over My Hammy. That’s right, the diner will have a wedding chapel. After they exchange vows, the newlyweds can enjoy a wedding cake made out of Pancake Puppies, according to the press release. Now, I wasn’t willing to put my digestive tract on the line to find out firsthand what a Pancake Puppy is, but Google Images leads me to believe it is a mutant hybrid of pancakes and hush puppies. Sounds great, if you want to spend your honeymoon in the cardiac unit. AMY KINGSLEY