IS THAT A BALL-PEEN HAMMER TAPPING MY SKULL, OR IS THIS A STAN VAUGHAN PRESS RELEASE?
Because it’s kind of cute when longshot candidates take a firm stand on a non-issue, here’s the latest from Stan “And Deliver” Vaughan, seeking the Congressional District 1 seat on the Independent American Party ticket. Noting a study that appeared in an obscure magazine called Free Inquiry — a University of Tampa prof says the government misses out on $71 billion a year by not taxing churches — Vaughan leapt manfully to his keyboard. “A new study issued stated that the Obama Administration is missing out on approximately 71 billion a year by not taxing religious organizations in this country,” he press-released. “Stan Vaughan … takes the position against any new legislation to end tax exemption status as proposed for religious organizations as well as nonprofits.” Way to deceptively link the Obama administration to a study it had nothing to do with, and a proposal it has not, in fact, proposed! Forget the IAP, Stan, you’d make a good Republican. At least we learned one useful fact from this: Tampa does, in fact, have a university. SCOTT DICKENSHEETS
E-MAIL WE DIDN’T FINISH READING
“I have the domain hairlossinwomentreatment.com for sale for $275. This domain will improve your web traffic now and will increase in value in the future.” DELETE!
QUICK POLL: HOW CAN VOTER TURNOUT BE IMPROVED?
The number of people who voted in last week’s primary election wasn’t </em>the <em>lowest turnout figure ever, but it was down there. We asked you how to get more people out to the polls. Your answers:
Improve voter education: 0 %
Better candidates: 60 %
Combine it with a rewards card — more participation earns you more votes: 20 %
Give up: 20 %
SUGGESTIONS FOR NEVADA’S NEW TOURISM SLOGAN
The state is trying to devise a snappy new tourism catchphrase. When we saw the results so far — “ReiNVent”; “All in Nevada”; “Nevada is for Doers” — we decided to help:
“Nevada: We may have crappy sloganeers, but our strippers are hot.”
“Nevada: We probably did your mom”
“Closer than anyplace better, better than anyplace closer”
“Tony Hsieh gives you permission to enter”
“Our politicians are corrupt but our slot machines are on the up and up”
“Home of the world’s most famous pawn shop, restoration shop and ghost-hunting squad”
“Hey, at least you’re not in Arizona”
“Pay for our infrastructure and get the fuck out”
TWOFER TICKETS
If you’re going to get a speeding ticket, now’s the time to do it. In a puzzling but kind-of-endearing move, Metro announced that officers will give out 51s baseball tickets to drivers who have committed moving violations but are following other laws, like wearing seatbelts or using a designated driver. You can refuse the game tickets if sports aren’t your thing; can you pass on the traffic citation, too? KRISTY TOTTEN
A HAPPY ENDING FOR ALL
To combat prostitution, a new city of Las Vegas ordinance forbids massage parlors to stay open past 10 p.m. Spa owners complained about lost revenue from shift workers, so Mayor Carolyn Goodman offered a solution for afterhours rub-downs: Send therapists direct to clients. No potential for anything bad to happen in that situation. KRISTY TOTTEN
ATOMIC LIQUORS RETURNS
Atomic Liquors is back! Well, almost.
Friday, three new owners take the keys to the historic building, which has been shuttered since Jan. 1, 2011. Attorney Lance Johns; his brother Kent, a real estate broker; and Derek Stonebarger, owner of Theatre7, bought the bar’s liquor license last week and signed a building lease with the option to buy. The bar will reopen in December.
The owners intend to renovate and add new features. Planned are larger bathrooms and bar upgrades, outdoor seating and a beer garden. The attached mechanic’s garage will be converted into a live-music venue, and Stonebarger hopes to host drive-in movies in the parking lot. A permanent movie theater is also being considered.
“The potential for this place is huge,” Stonebarger said. “It has showbiz in its veins. It has creative juices on tap. It’s a true blast from the past. I think it is just what we need right now to pull us all together.” KRISTY TOTTEN
