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FOOD REVIEW: ROSE. RABBIT. LIE.

Jan 29, 2014 3:41pm

You have probably seen the billboards, the blogger posts, the banner ads, the news spots, and maybe even the TV commercials (apparently people still watch TV?). Even a faux demonstration of grammarians protesting the gross...

EATING YOUR WORDS

Jan 08, 2014 2:19pm

NEW RELEASES

PICK- Beasts Of The Southern Wild (PG-13, 91 mins) See review, this issue. Village Square

The Dark Knight Rises (PG-13, 164 mins) See review, this issue. Opens wide

NOW PLAYING

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer (R, 105 mins) Relative unknown Benjamin Walker eventually grows the beard and stands beneath the stovepipe hat, but first he must be trained in the fine art of vampire slaying. It’s doubtful we’re see “Calvin Coolidge: Crimefighter” or “Alien vs. Predator vs. George W. Bush” after this misfire. (MK: 6.21.12) Suncoast

The Amazing Spider-man 3D (PG-13, 136 mins) Still just a guy swinging on webs between buildings. It’s a lot like the others and never really its own film in any way. It was probably smart to reboot the series so safely, because they’re not going to stop with one, and there’s room for improvement. (CB: 7.5.12)

PICK- The Avengers (PG-13, 142 mins) All of Marvel Comics’ summer-kickoff maneuvering over the past decade had been leading up to this: “The Avengers” is the first film to combine established superheroes so boldly. Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) assemble to do battle with Loki (Tom Hiddleston, giving the film’s best performance), who is set to unleash some sort of interplanetary wave of destruction on New York City. Marvel should have had the formula down pat by now, but co-writer/director Josh Whedon gives it some unexpected life that the studio can hopefully build on next year. And the year after that. (CB: 5.3.12)

Battleship (PG-13, 131 mins) A film adaptation of the same-named board game, but with hostile aliens and a really expensive cast (Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Liam Neeson). Who paid for this shit? Tropicana

Bernie (PG-13, 104 mins) When it’s reported Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine) is dead, the people of Carthage, Texas, try to solve who did it — and why sweet former mortician Bernie (Jack Black) is being charged with murder. Black, MacLaine and Matthew McConaughey may be the stars, but Carthage and its people steal the show. Village Square

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (PG-13, 124 mins) Mostly middle-class retirees check into a run-down resort in Jodhpur and experience some sort of self-actualization. None of the subplots feel contrived, and for most of the film it’s entertaining just to watch the cast interrelate. (MK: 5.24.12) Suncoast, Colonnade

Bill W. (NR, 103 mins) Documentary about one of Time magazine’s “100 Persons of the 20th Century,” Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder William G. Wilson, creating a chronicle of his near-fatal alcoholism. Village Square

Bol Bachchan (PG) After Abbas (Ajay Devgn) loses his family’s property rights, he moves to a small village where he unwittingly breaks into an ancestral temple. Hindu. Village Square.

Brave (PG, 100 mins) In the Scottish Highlands, Princess Merida (voiced by Kelly Macdonald) defies the wishes of her mother (Emma Thompson) to marry one of three ill-matched suitors. Always her own person, Merida flees the family castle and cuts a deal with a witch in the woods. Outside of merely establishing a positive role model for girls and some nice but not exceptional visual touches, “Brave” doesn’t have much to offer. (CB: 6.21.12)

Dark Shadows (PG-13, 113 mins) Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) is a vampire unearthed in a Maine fishing town, where the town boss Angelique Bouchard (Eve Green) actually is the witch who condemned him to eternal damnation and would like to see him suffer more. Unfortunately, all the best jokes are previewed in the film’s trailer. (MK: 5.10.12) Tropicana

The Dictator (R, 120 mins) Admiral General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) is a ruthless despot, the Supreme Oppressor of the North African country of Wadiya. After an assassin’s bullet kills his double, Aladeen insists that his second-in-command hire another lookalike in time for the Admiral General’s trip to the United Nations. Every once in a while, a redeeming one-liner buys Baron Cohen another couple minutes of your trust. But a great comedy? Not even close. (CB: 5.17.12) Tropicana

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (PG, 94 mins) While a boy goes in search of the one thing that will get the affections of the girl of his dreams, he learns about the Lorax, a grumpy creature trying to save his world. Tropicana

PICK- the Hunger Games (PG-13, 142 mins) Although there are a couple missteps in this film adaptation of author Suzanne Collins’ popular young adult trilogy, Gary Ross’ film is a very accomplished one, with a terrific despairing quality. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers in place of her younger sister to perform in the yearly games in which 24 teens fight to the death. A strong performance by Lawrence carries the so-so acting of others, helped out by reliable actors like Woody Harrelson. (CB: 3.22.12) Village Square

Ice Age: Continental Drift (PG, 94 mins) Pirates, continental cataclysm and the constant pursuit of the unattainable acorn — yep, someone is still making these cartoons.

Katy Perry: Part of Me (PG, 97 mins) Documentary of singer Katy Perry on tour. Warning: Not at all the Katy Perry film you expected/hoped would come out.

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG, 85 mins) The third installation of a bunch of celebrities voicing New York Zoo escapees. No one had the heart to tell Dreamworks where Madagascar is.

Magic Mike (R, 110 mins) Channing Tatum’s ass, Channing Tatum stripping, Matthew McConaughey’s ass … a lingering penis-pump shot. As if Steven Soderbergh needed to create a distraction from how uninteresting his examination of the lives of Tampa Bay-area male strippers had become by that point. (MK: 6.28.12)

Men in Black III (PG-13, 103 mins) Agent J (Will Smith) has to go back in time to prevent Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) from getting killed by an alien. What?

PICK- Moonrise Kingdom (PG-13, 94 mins) Suzy and Sam are problem children. Suzy has a violent temper and viciously lashes out at her peers. Sam is a flawed little fella with no friends and family besides Scout Master Ward (Edward Norton). It’s when these two would-be lovers light out into the wilds of their New England island that the film lights up. (KC: 6.14.12)

People Like Us (PG-13, 115 mins) After his father dies, Sam (Chris Pine) finds out he has a sister (Elizabeth Banks). The PG-13 rating is for brief sexuality, and we hope it has nothing to do with what we just wrote. Suncoast

The Pirates: A Band of Misfits (PG, 88 mins) Pirate Captain (the voice of Hugh grant) sees opportunity by winning a science contest with Charles Darwin (David Tennant). The awe inspired by the stop-motion animation can only keep a child entertained for so long, and since the jokes in this film can go right over their heads, most of the time it needs something more. (CB: 4.26.12) Tropicana

PICK- Prometheus (R, 124 mins) In Ridley Scott’s prequel to the “Alien” movies, the spaceship Prometheus is heading toward a planet determined as the origin of ancient astronauts that once visited Earth and created humankind. Cocky Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) insists on entering a monolithic structure immediately with a landing party. That’s when the connection to “Alien” manifests. Like it’s ancestor, this is very much a horror film. (MK: 6.7.12)

Rock of Ages (PG-13, 123 mins) A small-town girl hits the Sunset Strip, falls in love with a city dude — and somehow, a cock-rocker Tom Cruise figures in. Pass the cocaine, please.

Savages (R, 130 mins) Friends since high school, Chon (Taylor Kitsch) and Ben (Aaron Johnson) turned seeds from Afghanistan into a strain of pot many times more powerful than the vicious Mexican drug gangs can provide. A hostile takeover begins with a proposition that can’t be easily refused or accepted. Gruesome violence is unavoidable. (MK: 7.5.12)

Snow White and the Huntsman (PG-13, 127 mins) Instead of honest-wage-earning dwarves, it’s hired hitmen, who betray their hirer and help Snow White seek revenge.

Ted (R, 106 mins) Seth MacFarlane voices Ted, a magical teddy bear brought to life by a little boy’s wish for a best friend. That was 27 years ago and now John (Mark Wahlberg) and the bear are grown up, if not the least bit mature. John’s girl (Mila Kunis) wants him to finally become a man, but can he leave Ted behind for good? It’s hard to believe MacFarlane ran out of insulting things to say about everybody in less than two hours. (CB: 6.28.12)

That’s My Boy (R, 116 mins) After years of absence, Donny (Adam Sandler) visits his soon-to-be-married son (Andy Samberg) and makes his life a living hell — kind of like Sandler movies do to anyone over the age of 14. Sam’s Town

Think Like a Man (PG-13, 122 mins) Four women buy a Steve Harvey relationship book and take the advice to heart. When their pursuers realize what’s going on, they use the same book to exact their revenge. Tropicana

To Rome with Love (R, 111 mins) Following up on the magical realism of Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen’s To Rome with Love has Alec Baldwin as John, an architect returning to the place that inspired him at the dawn of his career. Inconsistencies in time and space elements, and a plot that echoes an episode of The Flinstones, makes it tantamount to sitting through an undercooked four-course dinner. (MK: 7.5.12)

Tyler Perry’s Medea’s Witness Protection (PG-13, 114 mins) You’re kidding. Which one of you keeps watching these?

PICK- Your Sister’s Sister (R, 90 mins) At his brother’s girlfriend’s suggestion to get out of his head for a while, Jack (Mark Duplass), one year removed from the untimely death of his brother, heads to a family cottage in the San Juan islands. One slight complication: When he arrives he meets Hannah (Rosemarie DeWitt). Writer-director Lynn Shelton has staged a handful of scenes that last an incredibly long time by contemporary standards, but there is never a dull moment. (CB: 7.12.12). Village Square

SPECIAL SCREENINGS

Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein (NR, 83 mins) Lou Costello, Bud Abbot and Bela Lugosi all star in a classic horror comedy about Dracula wanting to put Abbot’s brain into a Frankenstein’s monster. But the Wolfman has other plans. Tuesday, 1p. Clark County Library. 1301 E. Flamingo Road, 507-3400, free

Billy Madison (PG-13, 89 mins) Billy (Adam Sandler) has to go back to school to prove to daddy he’s not a fool — and take over the family hotel empire. Monday, 8p. The Boulevard Pool, 3708 Las Vegas Blvd. South, free

Cabaret (PG, 124 mins) Miza Minnelli and Michael York star in the musical drama following an adult entertainer during the Nazi rise to power. Wednesday, 2p and 7p. Check www.cinemark.com for tickets.

Cinemondays (NR) A rotating and seldom-repeating score of classic films from the greats. Mondays, 8p. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com, free

Deep Red (R, 126 mins) A reporter and a musician try to uncover the murder of a psychic, while the killer stops at nothing to kill them first. Friday, 10p. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com. $5

Die Hard (R, 131 mins) “Yippie ki yay, mother fucker.” Friday, Sundown. Renaissance Hotel, 3400 Paradise Road, 784-5700, free

Dr. Who Night (NR) Episodes from the BBC television show, chronicling the adventures of the eccentric time-traveling alien and his friends. Thursday, 8p. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com, $5

Drive-In Massacre (R, 74 mins) There’s a serial killer murdering drive-in patrons with a sword. What else do you want? Saturday, 10p. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com. $5

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (R, 90 mins) Screenwriter Cameron Crowe’s 1982 comic drama about the intersecting lives of teens at a Southern California high school helped spawn some great and some terrible things in the years following it, but this was the first of its kind. Stars Sean Penn as quintessential stoner Jeff Spicoli. Saturday, Sundown. Renaissance Hotel, 3400 Paradise Road, 784-5700, free

Las Vegas Film Festival Four-day film festival celebrating independant film. Thursday-Sunday, 1p. Las Vegas Hotel, 3000 Paradise Road, (888) 732-7117, check www.lvfilmfest.com for tickets and showtimes.

MET Summer Encore: Der Rosenkavalier (NR, 200 mins) Strauss’ 1911 comic opera. Wednesday, 6:30p. Check www.fathomevents.com for tickets.

Monday Movies (NR) Comedy features presented on a big screen. Monday, 9p. Freakin’ Frog, 4700 S. Maryland Parkway. 597-9702.

Saturday Morning Cartoons (NR, 120 mins) Rotating childhood favorite cartoons from the ’60s to the ’90s. Saturday, 10a. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com, free

Star Trek: The Next Generation 25th Anniversary (PG) See two of Star Trek’s most popular episodes, episode 106 “Where No One Has Gone Before” and Episode 114 “Datalore” on the silver screen. Includes season-one making-of scenes. Monday, 7p. Check www.fathomevents.com for tickets.

The Who: Quadrophenia - Can You See the Real Me? (PG, 69 mins) Making-of documentary of The Who’s Quadrophenia. Tuesday, 8p. Check www.fathomevents.com for tickets and showtimes.

Zombie Dawn (R, 83 mins) When scientists and their hired muscle visit a mining facility quarantined 15 years previous, they’re greeted by the zombie’d hordes of the former residents. But that’s just the beginning. Friday and Saturday, 8p. The Sci-Fi Center, 900 E. Karen Ave., Suite D-202, 792-4335, www.thescificenter.com. $7

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