For a story in the September issue of GQ (above), editor and writer Devin Friedman infiltrates Marquee Nightclub with a bachelor party. Here, culled from the story, are five observations about the Cosmo nightclub from a married father living in New York.
On proper dayclub amplification: “The music was still so powerful that I believe I could see the Azeri breasts vibrate almost imperceptibly along with the bass line, the way water glasses do when a giant robot is approaching.”
On why you can’t exit the club the same place you entered: “Seeing exhausted women carrying their ho shoes under their arms while they search for a cigarette just kind of breaks the spell.”
On interacting with VIP hosts: “All the suited functionaries at Marquee that night treated me as if I were an important business partner in a business where important business partners may or may not be bought prostitutes.”
On how to reply to the question, Do you want me to go find you some girls?: “What were the five of us — four married, one affianced — supposed to say? I would like someone without any of the hepatitises? I would like someone who will get impossibly turned on when I’m taciturn at cocktail parties?”
On deciding whether or not you’re actually having fun at the club: “I think this is what Ecstasy is for.”